Father's Day

One of the greatest blessings in my life is my father. He is faithful, honest, selfless, generous beyond measure, a hard worker, a leader, and most importantly he loves the Lord with all his heart and is teaching his children to do likewise. He is dependable and always around when we need him, never complains and is always willing to do the dirty work around the house. He's a family man and loves to spend time with his kids. My father's respect, love, and care for his wife have been a tremendous blessing to our family and he has set a high standard for what a real man ought to be. My parents, together, are the glue that holds us together in rough times, always there to encourage and support us. I would not be half what I am with out them both. So here's the be best father I could ever hope for. Love you so much Daddy. Happy Father's Day!!!

New Recipe

Potato bagels have long been a favorite of mine and I decided to try making some. I got my recipe from this blog. They take a long time to complete start to finish, but they turned out pretty tasty.

Suggested way to eat: hot out of the oven with thick slices of sharp cheddar cheese. =)

Life is About the Little Things Too

I haven't done a very good job blogging lately. I posted mostly thought provoking things so far, which I hope to continue, but part of the point of blogging is telling about the little things in life and the simple joys that God brings our ways. It's about making memories and finding joy in the the everydayness of life.

Some of the simple joys around here lately have been:
*reliable warm weather and sunshine, *playing volleyball and frisbee with friends, *spending time in the Lord's house with fellow believers, *having dinner with friends, *family bowling nights, *receiving encouraging emails and letters, *phone calls with dear friends, *looking forward to swimming again, *anticipating a summer of wonderful family trips and quality time.

What are the simple joys in your life?

Flashback Friday

Three little indians. 

Thankful Thursday

Ok, so the title maybe a little cliché in the blogging world, but I like it anyway and I'm going to use it. Regardless, I think it is important to express our gratitude to God and to other people. There is so much to be thankful for, but it is often so much easier to be negative; grumbling when things don't go the way we planned. It takes effort and intentionality to focus on the simple joys and blessings in life. When you stop to look, there really is a lot to be thankful for! Here is the beginning of what I hope will be a long list of blessings and things that make me smile. Join me in the challenge, whether in blogging, journaling, prayer, or just your thoughts, to spend a little less time grumping and more time praising God for the numerous gifts He gives us each day.

1. A beautiful, warm spring day
2. Sewing with my sister
3. Amazing homemade arrabiata sauce
4. Game night with my older siblings and parents
5. A brother with a great sense of humor
6. The beauty of life: grass, deciduous trees, and flowers
7. A multitude of friends who encourage and support me in my decisions and endeavors
8. The unfathomable grace of our Lord and Savior

Writer's Block? Says Who?

My mind draws a blank. I can’t write. A word or two, my fingers stop. What do I say? What can I write? Nothing worth anything comes to mind. Medieval Christianity. What’s there to say? It was full of missionaries, conversions, saints, and the beginning of the reformed movement. How can I stretch all that into500 words? Impossible. Every thing I learned, every book I read, deliberately rushes from my mind just when I need them the most. 

I stare out the window watching the landscapers toss shovel after shovel full of dirt as they dig a hole for a new tree. They’re all Hispanic. How many of them are here legally? Four men carry an aspen to its resting place. It’s leaves quivering and quaking in the wind. Despite the gushing air, the rays of sun and clear blue sky beg to be enjoyed with a blanket, pillow, and book in the grass. A wet tongue and the soft sweet eyes of my companion bring my mind back to my confines within the walls, the computer screen staring at me with it’s blank expressionless face. The empty page begs for words. The soft background music attempts to help me focus, but with summer so close and the end of school only a paper away, how can I focus on anything? My siblings come home in a week; six days for one, eight for the other, but who keeps track of those minor details???

Ah yes, summer, I still have to decided what to allow to fill my days? I want to stay busy and productive, but I want to relax and enjoy the beautiful warm days of my favorite season. Gardening? Yes. Reading? Yes. Babysitting? Ehhh... maybe, but how much? Teaching swim lessons? Maybe. I still need to talk to Caity about that. Being a mother’s helper? Again, maybe. So many uncertainties. So little set in concrete. My graduation party, only nine days away. I have yet to figure all those details out either. *sigh* My thoughts drift back to the one thing keeping me from the freedom of being truly done. Enough of this. I was trying to clear writer’s block. Obviously that’s not my problem. My blank page suffers only from a lack of motivation and the right words. The desire to be elsewhere is my current enemy, not a lack of things to say. Once I start it will come. It always does. 

Imitating Augustine

I decided to post the draft of the paper I'm working on in hopes of getting some comments and feedback. The goal is to convey what Augustine's mother's life was like. I decided to write it from a different perspective than a normal essay and look at her life from Augustine's life and try to imitate his writing style. I'd to hear what you think!  =D

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Oh Lord my God, I cannot express in words the sorrow that fills my heart. I know You have ordained all things in Your Sovereign will, and yet I grieve at the loss of my dear and faithful mother. She devoted her life to You. So clearly do I remember her last request, the final words spoken by those dear sweet lips as she bid farewell to my brother and I, “It does not matter where you bury my body. Do not let that worry you! All I ask of you is that, wherever you may be, you would remember me at the altar of the Lord” (Confessions book 9ch 11). So I come before You now, O God, and recount her goodness and Your mercy in my life. 

Even from an early age in her parents home she praised You and loved You with her whole heart. In her youth she sought to do Your will and felt remorse for her sins, something that I never understood until this last year. “It was You who taught her to obey her parents rather than they who taught her to obey You” (Confessions book 9 ch 9). As a child she was rebuked by a servant girl who caught her secretly sipping wine and called her a drunkard, my mother repented of her sin and promised never to drink again. My faithful mother never ceased to be a pious woman always seeking to do Your will. 

Though my father was a pagan Roman official and did not love You, my mother ever showed him Your love and patiently submitted to him. My father was known for his hot temper and frequent unfaithfulness to my mother. She forgave him daily and lived according to St. Peter’s wisdom to wives that they “be submissive to [their] own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, when they observe [their] chaste conduct accompanied by fear” (1Peter 3:1). In truth it is because of my mother’s beautiful demonstration of faith and love that my father turned his heart to You in his last days. 

From my youth I paid no heed to my mother’s constant teaching as she shared the gospel with me. She longed that my heart should be tied to Thee, O Lord, and yet I enjoyed the worldly pleasures of sin and had no desire to submit to You. I longed, yes I burned with passion for all that was evil and wicked in my mother’s eyes, because it was wicked in Your eyes also. Though I chased after sin as a dog chases a hare, yet my precious mother in her faithfulness and love never gave me up for lost. This “chaste, devout, and prudent woman, a widow such as is close to Your heart, never ceased to pray at all hours and to offer You the tears she shed for me” (Confessions book 3 ch 11).  Oh, that there were more such devoted and loyal wives and mothers in this world! Oh, that all children might know the comfort and love such a mother can bestow! Oh, that I had recognized the beauty of her faith from my infancy! 

I grew weary of her presence as she followed me on my journey to Rome and then on to Milan, and even deceived her to keep her from pursuing me. Yet Lord of all Wisdom and Knowledge, You knew this would be the making of me and I would, upon reading Your word, be forced to see Your truth and fall on my knees in grief for my sin. When I ran to her to share my joy, “she was jubilant with triumph and glorified You...for she saw that You had granted her far more than she used to ask in her tearful prayers and plaintive lamentations” (Confessions book 8 ch 12). You had drawn me to Yourself as well as given me the desire to be fully in Your service. “You turned her sadness into rejoicing” (Psalm 29:12) 

It as with great grief and sorrow that only a short year after my confession, You called my mother to be with Thee. She found “no further pleasure in this life” for it would seem in her later days she lived only to see me turn to You. Great is Your faithfulness to me, O God! Your grace is unfathomable, that You would give me such a mother, such a jewel to watch out for me all her days. I will never cease to praise You for her life and lift her up before Your throne. Praise and glory be to Thee, O great and merciful God, for the life of my mother Monica. Amen. 

An Anniversary

Four years ago today Greg, Craig, and Russell Smith came to live with us, however, they are better known as Mark, Scott, and Russell Spencer. It has by no means been an easy river to raft and some days it felt like we might drown in the white water, but by God's grace we have paddled through the toughest rapids. In my young mind at the time, I thought adopting would just be like adding some sweet little children to the family and I would finally have the younger siblings I had always wanted. Oh how mistaken I was. These kids were not some sweet angels raised in a a godly family, come to live with us. It has been more than a challenge and quite a process to etch away the layers of filth, hurt, and worldliness the boys had been exposed to in foster care and public school (though we are blessed that these boys had wonderful foster parents). It is still a challenge to love them even when they don't deserve it, or when I don't feel like being loving. But in reality, how often to any of us deserve to be loved and forgiven? And yet God unfailingly bestows His grace and love on us. It really isn't about how deserving they are of my affection, it's about showing Christ' love for us to them. I am daily learning to extend that grace just as I expect to receive it.

Looking back it is amazing to see how God has so faithfully brought us through the rough times, the times when I/we felt like giving up or giving in. We have all grown and changed tremendously through this experience, not just the boys, and I am so thankful that we have grown together and not apart. Even through the tears, the frustration, the challenges, and lack of faith, God has been gracious to us. The boys have grown and changed so much since they first came! I look forward to seeing what all God has in store for us the next four years. =)

Shortly after they came. We had the hardest time getting them give us a real smile. They hardly knew how to.

 Handsome cowboys at the State Fair

 Looking sharp for a concert

No longer the weak, unhappy boys we knew 4 years ago! These boys are fast on their way to becoming wonderful gentlemen.

Don't Shake Your Fist

All of us, throughout different times in our lives, struggle to be content; whether that's being content with our family, our house, the things we have, the situations at hand, or the tasks that demand our attention. I would suggest that the reason for our discontent springs from a skewed perception of happiness and joy, misunderstanding of our purpose in life. We think happiness is satisfying self and often that is manifest in buying things or seeking approval from man. We are taught to believe the newest technology, nicer cars, bigger houses, latest fashions, etc. will make us happy.  The old saying "money doesn't buy happiness" is true, having more stuff will probably make you happy for a little while (until there’s something newer and better), but it wont bring contentment. Why? Because true happiness comes from sacrifice and service. Yes, in sacrificing your life for others, dying to self. Jennie Chancey, co-author of Passionate Housewives Desperate for God, says, "true life is found in death; true happiness is found in sacrifice; true peace is found in giving away our comforts and security." Nothing will satisfy us when we have selfish goals; either selfish for material things or selfish for man’s praise.

We were created for the express purpose of bringing glory to God, serving Him, and living according to His commandments. It is our sin nature to desire glory for ourselves and seek praise and admiration from fellow men, but we should strive to bring praise to our Creator and Redeemer. We like to feel we are responsible for the good things that we do, but we are not. We are nothing without God's grace and forgiveness and it is only through Him that we do anything right and good. 

How does all this tie into being content? Well, once we see the bigger picture and realize what our goal in life is, we realize how small and insignificant we are without God. We have to humble ourselves and seek to bring glory and honor to God and not ourselves. We are so often discontent because we do not receive the praise we want; our hard work is over looked, or our efforts are taken for granted, but it is not man's praise that we need. It is not man that we will face on the day of judgement, but God. If we see every task as an opportunity to do our best for God's glory than it doesn't matter what man says. As Os Guinness said, "drudgery done for ourselves or for other human beings will always be drudgery. But drudgery done for God is lifted and changed." We are to “present [our] bodies as a living sacrifice” for God’s glory, sacrificing our lives in humility and service. Material positions will never satisfy either. As Matthew 6:19-21 says, “do not lay up for yourselves treasure on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal; but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” 

Being discontent with life, both in the big things, such as where you live or the job you have, even down to the little things, like the weather or the unexpected situations that arise, is in essence shaking our fist in God’s face declaring that He doesn’t know what He’s doing and His plan is not perfect. So before we shake our fists, we need to stop and realize that trials are sent for our edification, to make us more like Christ.

Because I Know You're Curious

As I have eagerly anticipated graduating this spring, the ceremony being this Saturday and officially finishing my academic studies in May, I have given much thought to what lies ahead. As many of you may know, I am staying home to pursue my education in home economics, music, and theology, as well as spending much time doing what I love most: serving my family and friends. This may sound so....well....so old fashioned....or girly....or domestic. Why as a matter of fact, YES! I don't expect everyone to be as thrilled as I am, but I want to share with you why I have chosen this course of action as opposed to college.

1) Most importantly I feel assured that this is God's plan for me. I spent much time praying that He would show me what He wanted me to do post high school and I am confident this is it. I have never been more confident about a decision than I am about this one.

2) Being a homemaker is not just a nice idea, it's a Biblical command. Titus 2:4-5 says, "that [women] admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed." (italics added) I have planned to be a homemaker as long as I can remember and never wanted to have a career. Thankfully my parents have come to understand the importance of this as well and have always encouraged Caity and I to pursue domestic skills.

3) I feel that staying at home, teaching myself and learning practical skills is the best way to prepare me to be a wife and mother which is my ultimate calling. No college text books, no writing on a chalk board in a lecture hall, and no peer focused college campus is going to prepare me to train and nurture children, cook healthy balanced meals, and juggle all the day to day realness of a home. Spending my time along side my mother, one of the best homemakers I've ever met, and helping in the homes of other godly women, learning from their wisdom and experience, learning by hands on trial and error is what is going to give me a good start.
It's not going to be perfect. It won't make me a flawless homemaker. And I'm sure there will be days when I'll wonder why I decided to do this, but I am sure in the end it will be well worth the effort.

~Striving for Christ,
Marissa

False View of Strength

I was listening to a song today by Lady Antebellum called Long Gone. I've heard it many times and, knowing I probably wouldn't agree with the lyrics, never really paid attention to what it was saying. As I found myself singing along, I stopped in mid sentence...."Wait, this isn't right!"

Here are the words to the first two verses and chorus:

"It's so like you just to show up at my door 

and act like nothing's happened.

You think I'll sweep up my heart off the floor 

and give it to you like so many times before

You're talking to a stranger, I'm not that girl anymore.

That girl is long gone

boy you missed the boat, it just sailed away

long gone, she's not drowning in her yesterdays 

betcha never thought I'd be that strong

well, this girl is long gone

Don't waste your breath with, 'baby, baby please'

'cause I am so not listening

Don't bother getting down upon your knees and trying to beg me

I'm tired of how you twist the truth

You're not talking to the same girl who used to forgive you

That girl is long gone

boy you missed the boat, it just sailed away

long gone, she's not drowning in her yesterdays 

betcha never thought I'd be that strong

well, this girl is long gone."

Really??? Obviously this song is about a guy and a girl, married or not isn't clear, but they've had a fight (also obvious it's not the first time). Is it strange for people to argue or have disagreements? Of course not. But in the song, the girl says that forgiving, trusting, and loving each other, as scriptures teaches us to do, is a weakness. That dumping him, refusing to listen, and not even trying to set things right, is being strong. How messed up is THAT!!! What a distorted view of strength. Strength is not walking way from difficult relationships. Strength is not hardening your heart against those who have hurt you. Strength isn't refusing to talk to people who have offended you. Strength is forgiving, loving, understanding, picking up the pieces and trying again. It is no wonder so many relationships in this culture fail (well, this is only one reason, there are a lot of others).

This reminded me of the movie Fireproof. If you haven't seen it, you should! It is wonderful. It follows the marriage of a couple who have been married for a few years and are in constant conflict. Neither of them are believers and are at the point of divorce, but through some godly influences in their lives, they come to see God's sacrifice, their sin and His Righteousness. I won't tell you the ending in case you haven't see it, but you can probably guess what happens. =) 

Jam Cookies

A couple weeks ago I found an excellent, flaky, butter pie crust recipe. It is delicious and works great for both savory dishes like quiches as well as sweets like pie. It also freezes really well. I found this yummy looking cookie recipe so I decided to try them. I had three very helpful, "professional" testers who gave good reviews. 

Fight the Good Fight

A good friend of mine posted this poem on her blog and I thought it was well worth passing on. 

"Fight the good fight with all thy might;

Christ is thy Strength, and Christ thy Right:

Lay hold on life, and it shall be

Thy joy and crown eternally.

Run the straight race, through God's good grace,

Lift up thine eyes and seek His face;

Life with its way before us lies

Christ is the Path and Christ the Prize

Cast care aside, lean on thy Guide;

His boundless mercy will provide;

Trust, and thy trusting soul shall prove

Christ is its Life and Christ its Love

Faint not nor fear, His arms are near;

He changeth not, and thou art dear;

Only believe, and thou shalt see

That Christ is all in all to thee."

~John S. B. Monsell, 1863

I cannot start neglecting my blog already, I just can't. The last two weeks have been quite busy. As I said in my last blog post, I mentioned our family trip to San Antonio. We had a wonderful time! The weather was quite beautiful; the activities, enjoyable; and the time with family, priceless and wonderful. We went to Seaworld and Fiesta Texas, spent a day in Austin and Fredericksburg, went to the Alamo and the riverwalk, met a wonderful family at church and had dinner with them, and got reacquainted with some old friends. Curtis and Caity returned to Idaho at the end of the week and the rest of the family returned home via Carlsbad Caverns.

This last week has been very busy trying to get back into the swing of things. Although the previous week was the NSA spring break, it was not my break, so I've been very busy catching up on and continuing reading and lectures, finally getting graduation announcements put together, making a dress for graduation/spring, and lot of baking and cooking, and a definite highlight of the week is that I've gotten to have two long chats with my best friend and sister. =)

I'm signin' out for now, but hopefully you'll hear more soon. =)

Because it Makes Me Smile

 Woke up this morning to see the bright gold of the sun just before it peaked over the mountains. Ahh, the best way to start the day! Before I had time to pull on a sweatshirt and get something on my feet, the vibrant color had vanished, replaced by the beaming glow of the sun behind dark clouds. The sky was filled with clouds, the ground dusted with fresh fallen snow, and the chilling sound of the wind blowing outside, reminded me that it's still winter, but ironically, today was the day I needed to start pulling out summer clothes. Yes, I know it's still March, but in some places, such as Texas, it actually feels like spring, because is spring. Well, what does it matter that it's spring in Texas??? It matters because early Friday, we'll be driving down to San Antonio where we'll meet up with Curtis and Caity, who are flying in from Idaho, for spring break! That's right folks, spring break in Texas. What could be better than that??? I'll tell you what. Spring break in Texas with the whole family!!!! That's what. =D Yes, someone is very much slightly excited! 

As I was working on school yesterday, I looked out my window to see the beautiful effect of the sun beginning to set and casting a really cool lighting on the opposite mountains. Oh and yes, this is the view from my window. It's amazing!