Act As Though You Love and You Will

As I've been reading books are marriage this summer I've been thinking a lot about what it means to love people, not just your fiancé/spouse, but anyone that God places in our lives. Specifically I've been thinking about it in regards to siblings and close family members. What does it mean to love? How do we force ourselves to love people we are not naturally inclined to love. Perhaps we have been hurt by people close to us, people who we want to have a relationship with, people we want to trust, or people who are daily involved in our lives––yet there is a barrier between you and them. I've been, and sometimes still am, in that position with my family. I am sure that there will be times that I find it difficult to love my husband, though right now that seems nearly impossible. =) What I've been reminded of is that love is not all about an emotion. It is not just a feeling––it is a commandment. We are commanded to love others as Christ loves us. Emotions cannot be commanded, but they can be taught. When we struggle to love someone, we have to ask God to love them through us and to teach us how to love with action and not just emotion. There are a few quotes from Tim Keller's book The Meaning of Marriage that have really stood out to me.

"It is a mistake to think that you must feel love in order to give it."
"Do not waste time bothering whether you 'love' your neighbor; act as if you did. As soon as we do this we find one of the greatest secrets. WHen you are behaving as if you loved someone, you will presently come to love him."

We have to act as though we love someone even when we don't feel like it. As we do so, we should pray for two things, that God would give us the grace to love them, and secondly pray for that person. When you pray for someone else you will come to care about them more, you will look for the good, you will rejoice in the little triumphs, you will see more of their strengths and less of their weaknesses. It is so important that we be in prayer for our siblings, our spouses, and our children. How much greater could our love for them be if we forget about satisfying ourselves, forget about feeling love, and focus on the act of loving as Christ did? However we can not love with Christ's love if we do not have a proper relationship with God ourselves. We have know His love for us and understand the sacrifices He made for us out of love.
We are to "bare the cross of Christ," the trials of everyday life, but we should not see them as burdens, but as a way to lose our own life for the sake of someone else. To serve, to put the needs of others above our own, and to love with Christ's love. We are told that we if try to save our lives and live for our own pleasure and happiness, we will lose our lives, but if we live a life of service and humility as Christ did, we will find true life and true joy.

"Seek to serve one another rather than to be happy, and you will find new and greater happiness"


*All Quotes from Tim Keller's book The Meaning of Marriage.

Finding the Will of God

In his book Finding the Will of God, Bruce K. Waltke challenges his readers to rethink the concept of "seeking God's will for your life." For many people it is normal to talk about "finding God's will for their lives" as if God held some hidden secret about your life. It's not like that, but neither does God send down a letter with an outline for the next 10 years of your life.
It would be so nice if God would just reveal His plan for our lives so we'll know what's next. Right? Well, in some ways He does. We have been given the Bible which is a Christian's guide for life. All scripture is given to us for "doctrine, reproof, correction, and instruction in righteousness" (2 Timothy 3:16). We have been given the incredible gift of the Holy Spirit and the ability to talk to our Heavenly Father who hears and answers our prayers.
In his book, Waltke emphasizes the importance of our relationship with God. "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart" (Psalm 37:4) As we spend time in the Word, seek the Lord in prayer, meditate on scripture, and live according to His commands, God will draw our hearts closer to His and our desires will be more like His.
Our personal relationship with God shouldn't be something on our to-do-list each day, ready to be checked off, it should be a part of the way we live.

"As you develop a heart for God, you find that your desires change and become consonant with the heart of God."

"Instead of asking God to 'reveal His will' we should be asking Him to develop His character of wisdom in us."

"When you really love God and your neighbor, you can be very comfortable following your desires because they are not self-ambitious and self-centered."

"The person who truly knows the Lord develops a love for Him and a closeness to Him, so that He begins to shape one's Character and values. Soon He is filling up your thoughts with His thoughts, so that you have the mind of Christ and live according to Him. When you love God you live in His will."

"God's will is that you be holy, wise, mature, joyful, prayerful, and submissive."

P.S. I highly recommend the book.