An Anniversary

Four years ago today Greg, Craig, and Russell Smith came to live with us, however, they are better known as Mark, Scott, and Russell Spencer. It has by no means been an easy river to raft and some days it felt like we might drown in the white water, but by God's grace we have paddled through the toughest rapids. In my young mind at the time, I thought adopting would just be like adding some sweet little children to the family and I would finally have the younger siblings I had always wanted. Oh how mistaken I was. These kids were not some sweet angels raised in a a godly family, come to live with us. It has been more than a challenge and quite a process to etch away the layers of filth, hurt, and worldliness the boys had been exposed to in foster care and public school (though we are blessed that these boys had wonderful foster parents). It is still a challenge to love them even when they don't deserve it, or when I don't feel like being loving. But in reality, how often to any of us deserve to be loved and forgiven? And yet God unfailingly bestows His grace and love on us. It really isn't about how deserving they are of my affection, it's about showing Christ' love for us to them. I am daily learning to extend that grace just as I expect to receive it.

Looking back it is amazing to see how God has so faithfully brought us through the rough times, the times when I/we felt like giving up or giving in. We have all grown and changed tremendously through this experience, not just the boys, and I am so thankful that we have grown together and not apart. Even through the tears, the frustration, the challenges, and lack of faith, God has been gracious to us. The boys have grown and changed so much since they first came! I look forward to seeing what all God has in store for us the next four years. =)

Shortly after they came. We had the hardest time getting them give us a real smile. They hardly knew how to.

 Handsome cowboys at the State Fair

 Looking sharp for a concert

No longer the weak, unhappy boys we knew 4 years ago! These boys are fast on their way to becoming wonderful gentlemen.

Don't Shake Your Fist

All of us, throughout different times in our lives, struggle to be content; whether that's being content with our family, our house, the things we have, the situations at hand, or the tasks that demand our attention. I would suggest that the reason for our discontent springs from a skewed perception of happiness and joy, misunderstanding of our purpose in life. We think happiness is satisfying self and often that is manifest in buying things or seeking approval from man. We are taught to believe the newest technology, nicer cars, bigger houses, latest fashions, etc. will make us happy.  The old saying "money doesn't buy happiness" is true, having more stuff will probably make you happy for a little while (until there’s something newer and better), but it wont bring contentment. Why? Because true happiness comes from sacrifice and service. Yes, in sacrificing your life for others, dying to self. Jennie Chancey, co-author of Passionate Housewives Desperate for God, says, "true life is found in death; true happiness is found in sacrifice; true peace is found in giving away our comforts and security." Nothing will satisfy us when we have selfish goals; either selfish for material things or selfish for man’s praise.

We were created for the express purpose of bringing glory to God, serving Him, and living according to His commandments. It is our sin nature to desire glory for ourselves and seek praise and admiration from fellow men, but we should strive to bring praise to our Creator and Redeemer. We like to feel we are responsible for the good things that we do, but we are not. We are nothing without God's grace and forgiveness and it is only through Him that we do anything right and good. 

How does all this tie into being content? Well, once we see the bigger picture and realize what our goal in life is, we realize how small and insignificant we are without God. We have to humble ourselves and seek to bring glory and honor to God and not ourselves. We are so often discontent because we do not receive the praise we want; our hard work is over looked, or our efforts are taken for granted, but it is not man's praise that we need. It is not man that we will face on the day of judgement, but God. If we see every task as an opportunity to do our best for God's glory than it doesn't matter what man says. As Os Guinness said, "drudgery done for ourselves or for other human beings will always be drudgery. But drudgery done for God is lifted and changed." We are to “present [our] bodies as a living sacrifice” for God’s glory, sacrificing our lives in humility and service. Material positions will never satisfy either. As Matthew 6:19-21 says, “do not lay up for yourselves treasure on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal; but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” 

Being discontent with life, both in the big things, such as where you live or the job you have, even down to the little things, like the weather or the unexpected situations that arise, is in essence shaking our fist in God’s face declaring that He doesn’t know what He’s doing and His plan is not perfect. So before we shake our fists, we need to stop and realize that trials are sent for our edification, to make us more like Christ.

Because I Know You're Curious

As I have eagerly anticipated graduating this spring, the ceremony being this Saturday and officially finishing my academic studies in May, I have given much thought to what lies ahead. As many of you may know, I am staying home to pursue my education in home economics, music, and theology, as well as spending much time doing what I love most: serving my family and friends. This may sound so....well....so old fashioned....or girly....or domestic. Why as a matter of fact, YES! I don't expect everyone to be as thrilled as I am, but I want to share with you why I have chosen this course of action as opposed to college.

1) Most importantly I feel assured that this is God's plan for me. I spent much time praying that He would show me what He wanted me to do post high school and I am confident this is it. I have never been more confident about a decision than I am about this one.

2) Being a homemaker is not just a nice idea, it's a Biblical command. Titus 2:4-5 says, "that [women] admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed." (italics added) I have planned to be a homemaker as long as I can remember and never wanted to have a career. Thankfully my parents have come to understand the importance of this as well and have always encouraged Caity and I to pursue domestic skills.

3) I feel that staying at home, teaching myself and learning practical skills is the best way to prepare me to be a wife and mother which is my ultimate calling. No college text books, no writing on a chalk board in a lecture hall, and no peer focused college campus is going to prepare me to train and nurture children, cook healthy balanced meals, and juggle all the day to day realness of a home. Spending my time along side my mother, one of the best homemakers I've ever met, and helping in the homes of other godly women, learning from their wisdom and experience, learning by hands on trial and error is what is going to give me a good start.
It's not going to be perfect. It won't make me a flawless homemaker. And I'm sure there will be days when I'll wonder why I decided to do this, but I am sure in the end it will be well worth the effort.

~Striving for Christ,
Marissa